Here is a statement: I am fat. Here is another statement: I’m ok with that.
But its been a hard road getting to this point and sometimes I take a detour back to “unhappy fat land”. I didn’t just wake up one morning and suddenly love myself. But over time and with the help of surrounding myself with people who like me for me and by not being so obsessed with how I look, I now have no issue seeing myself in the mirror or in (some) photos.
I like me – I am a nice person, a fantastic and loyal friend, loving and supportive wife and a good sister and daughter. I have soft smooth skin, I have lovely blue eyes, I have fantastic boobs, I have good legs, and I have funky hair. AND in my opinion I dress pretty darn fine as well! I believe I am a worthy person – I work hard and I deserve the spoils brings. I will not let anyone come in the way of that.
When someone calls me “fat”, I make an effort to reclaim the word. I am no longer upset at them calling me that – because they aren’t lying – I am fat. Instead I get angry, because how dare they use a descriptive word as something to try and hurt me with! I don’t turn around and shout with vitriol “BROWN HAIR” or “SHORT LEGS” so why should they be allowed to call someone fat in the same tone?
I don’t let them get away with it. I call them up on it because I am not a victim. They really don’t expect either – they look at me and they think I am gonna run crying – how shocked they are when I go all south-east London council estate on them! I tell you – Bianca aint got anything on me for a gob!
Being fat has never stopped me from doing anything. It hasn’t stopped me from going to uni or getting jobs, or finding a husband or friends. It didn’t stop me moving half way around the world or from bathing naked in public (sento onsen). Mostly because I refuse to let it, but also because as much as the media may try and have us think that being fat is akin to some immortal sin, most people really don’t care. In my experience they only care when you do. When I was bothered about my size I got called fat in the street, had people stare at me, had strangers make comments. Now – I can stand on a beach in the middle of summer in a red swimsuit, having my picture taken, and no one bats an eyelid.
That’s why I believe an event like Plus London Three is so important. This year we want it to be about people starting to like themselves. To not obsess about what other people think but enjoy being them. So what if you have fat legs, a double chin, a massive belly, and flabby arms? You are still a human, a lovely person, someone worthy of love and respect. BUT you will only get that if you believe it too.
I hope attending Plus London will help take people to the beginning of a journey of self-worth.