Tales of a fat lady: Isha

Isha 2

My love for fashion started at a very early age. My first favourite outfit came at the age of three, when I had a pair of blue dungarees. I apparently refused to take them off and screamed like a banshee at whomever came near me with something different. My next favourite outfit (I was around six/ seven) is one I remember fondly. It was a red polka dot skirt (for regular readers of my blog, yep, this is where the polka dot love affair started!), a white blazer with a red polka dot pocket, and a Care Bears t-shirt. It was the most beautiful outfit ever! I again, rarely took it off and would immediately put it back on after it had been washed.

I wore this wonder for a good few years, but then I started to feel a change. The blazer became a little tighter and I had to breathe in whenever I had to do up my skirt – it was at this moment I became aware of my weight. A few months went by and I could no longer wear my favourite outfit, I was so distraught and hated the fact that my body had betrayed me. From such an early age, I was aware that my body was not what is was “supposed” to look like; and through my teenage years and early twenties, I had the hardest time trying to come to terms with the way I looked. When I looked in magazines, I saw tall, slim, white girls and women. I wasn’t represented anywhere. I struggled with that fact for longer than I care to admit, and it has been a tearful battle to get to where I am now.

I didn’t, and even now in the media, still do not have real representation of how I look – short, plus size, disproportioned and black. So I turned my back on mainstream media and discovered blogging. I cannot over state how much finding blogging has helped me find others like me, those whom were just as tired when looking around all aspects of the media and feeling disappointed; I’m truly grateful to the pioneers and the bloggers who do this for the right reasons – as a way of showing girls and women all over the world that there is an alternative.

When I speak to my friends, who just know me as Isha or Pixie, they talk about my latest blog post and marvel at other bloggers style, ambition and confidence. One part of me feels great to be part of that, but the other part makes me wonder why they marvel? It is of course because of the media. The media push this message onto all, that we need to aspire to being slim – that slim is best; so seeing people who don’t look like that, embrace fashion and make it their own, is almost a revelation!

Blogging is about breaking this message, and I think we’re getting there. It isn’t going to happen overnight and there are constant battles, but I’m so happy to be amongst those trying to make a difference, trying to give a positive message that being who we are is perfect regardless of size, shape or ethnicity. I love how I look, love how I dress, and my body is now something I feel truly happy with. Now, although I’m extremely strange and a bit of goon (to which I embrace immensely), I still have “normal” human emotions in regards to how I look, but it has NOTHING to do with being plus size, merely to do with having a bad day here and there – please know that this is OK! We all get them.

So, we are now fast approaching Plus London Three, and I’m super proud to be one of the organisers. I want everyone to have the best time and walk away from our event feeling amazing. This event is about us, and we are incredible!

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